Apparently now there's such a thing as the 'mood rankings' for Premier League teams and while it's fun seeing Manchester United at the bottom of the table, Newcastle United aren't fairing much better.
The mood ranking seemingly takes into account everything that's going on in and around the club and judges the general happiness of the fans. It's not exactly scientific, more just for fun.
Football365 have published their latest rankings and Newcastle United have dropped from 9th to 13th. That's probably not going to be much of a shock to anyone given the turbulent season we're enduring.
The mood on Tyneside is tense to say the least. Our league form is shocking, we haven't had fewer than 10 players out injured at anyone time since September and despite having the richest owners in the sport, we can't afford to sign anyone to help with our injury crisis.
So while there's not a lot to smile about, Football365 have stuck the boot in with their writeup about us in the article with one line in particular standing out as a source of my morning rage.
"We want Newcastle to sack Eddie Howe and replace him with Mourinho. What’s better still, is that we do think there is a genuine possibility they might do this."
Their justification is that they want to see Mourinho whinging about FFP and not getting his way.
While they do state that they believe Eddie Howe is the better manager for Newcastle, and they concede that Newcastle fans won't want to see this change happen, they want it to for their own sick, twisted enjoyment.
We can't kick off too much really, football is a very opinion-based thing and we literally just disclosed our joy at seeing Manchester United being the unhappiest club in the Premier League, but as it IS an opinion-based thing, we are still allowed to be angry at the article. It's an unfair world, deal with it.
"One of the key reasons why Mourinho to Newcastle is so appealing a move – as long as you don’t support Newcastle – is that Newcastle are currently in an illogical and indefensible funk about the rules meaning they’re not allowed to simply buy the league. There are myriad valid concerns about money and ownership structures and competitiveness in football and all the rest of it, but Newcastle’s is no noble crusade to level the playing field. They want to level their competitors.
"Just as rants about officials from Arteta or Klopp or whoever are never about the greater good but always self-interest, so too Newcastle’s current supposedly altruistic quest for fairness/being allowed to spend as much as they want on the players they want and crush all opposition at their feet."
Again, nothing they've said there is inherently wrong. Although we are far from the only club moaning about FFP - we're just doing it for more nefarious purposes whereas the likes of Everton and Nottingham Forest are doing it for survival.
"But is Eddie Howe a better frontman for a crusade of illogical, incoherent, unsupportable whingeing about the sheer unfairness of something outside his control that is preventing him securing the world domination he craves and deserves? Not even a contest, is it.
"Four straight league defeats is not in any way the position you want to find yourself in when Jose Mourinho becomes available and starts scouring the landscape for a new fanbase to gaslight and belittle. Newcastle fans should thus be very worried indeed, and the mood ranking must reflect these concerns."
Sorry, Mr Football365 guy, but Mourinho to Newcastle isn't happening. Our owners know the reasons behind the poor form, and they were expecting this season to be vastly different even before the injuries, so they're not going to throw Eddie Howe under the bus.
We're looking for talented writers and social media wizards to join our team. No experience required. To apply, email us with a bit about yourself, and some sample work/ideas.